The Actual News:
Of the many things I’m a major nerd about, it’s statistics. One might say I’m aut[4chan]tic for statistics! Part of this fascination with stats manifests itself in the eXTReMe site tracker I’ve been using on PA! literally since the very beginning; the tracker itself shows where my visitors came from, and—if they came from a search engine—what they were searching for when they stumbled upon the site.
Well, as it so happens, lately I’ve been getting a curious number of visitors from China who have been searching for the term “Pokémon H” or “Pokémon H18”. If you’re wondering what that means, it means they were searching for… well, very naughty naughty pictures of various Pokémon characters, at least ones intended for anyone ages 18 and up.
The problem is… Pokémon Aaah! is not a naughty Pokémon site! I mean, sure we’ve grown up a lot since 1999, we might even use context-appropriate swear words here and there; afterall, we’re all mature adults here. But if there’s one thing I don’t have here—mostly because other sites already do it better than I ever could!—is have naughty pictures en masse. So where are all of these visitors coming from?
Well, I decided to investigate and get to the bottom of this mystery once and for all. Fortunately all I had to do was type in “Pokémon H18” into Baidu, and see what I get. … And this is what I got:
AHAHAHA SERIOUSLY??
Somehow the Baidu search engine assumed the “H” in “Pokémon Aaah!” is the kind of “H” that its users are trying to look for, and therefore PA! is listed first. That’s it. Feel free to check it out for yourself! Don’t worry, the link is SFW, at least it was for me… it might not be for you, so click at your own discretion.
So, I guess that’s the end of THAT mystery then! I’m at least glad that searching for “Pokémon H” at least leads new visitors to my site… instead of… y’know… the OTHER “Pokémon H” that could be out there:
(BTW, that’s what shows up when you search for “Pokémon H” in Google.)